But Lord, I just don’t understand. I did what you told me to do. Why did it turn out like this?
This time last year I experienced one of the most painful (mentally, emotionally, physically and spiritually) things I have ever gone through in my life. I won’t go into the detail of it all, but I will share a recent revelation that set me free.
After pressing on to move forward with my life and wanting to not stay stuck in the pain, I found myself angry and hurting again and again and again. I was talking with my husband about the past situation and he asked me, “Why are we talking about this again?”
I responded, “Lol I know right? But what do you mean? Well, why not? I want to understand. I need to talk it out.”
The truth is, it still hurt….deeply. But why? Why was I not over it? Why did this time of year bring up something I thought wouldn’t have a hold of my emotions still?
The next morning after the conversation with my husband I stood in worship during Sunday service. And I mean I stood there. I didn’t raise my hands. I didn’t sing. I just stood there. I waited. As I was standing and waiting, I heard the Lord whisper, “Is the pain they caused deeper than my love for you?” I immediately felt that thing that had a hold of my heart break!
The revelation of my Heavenly Father’s deep love for me freed me from a pain that had been tormenting my mind and stealing my peace. It also freed me from having to understand why it happened! The thing that gets me even more is how much more open my mind and heart is to the understanding of God’s presence. Sometimes you just have to keep showing up, get in His presence and let God be God so He can do what only He can do.
I want to encourage you who may be dealing with deep hurt, whether past or present. Submit it to the Lord. Get in His presence with your hurt, your questions and your anger. Whatever you may need to express, you are safe to cast your cares on Him because He truly cares for you. God is faithful to meet you with His unconditional and immeasurable love that is deeper than any pain you have experienced.
“so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.”-Ephesians 3:17-19
gazellegatherings.com 